There are thousands of thoughts that run through my head daily. Thoughts that range from "I'm too tired to wake up right now" to "I wonder how electric heat is created" and many more... So what makes these thoughts feel like they exist outside of my head? And why do I dwell on certain ideas as opposed to other thoughts that pass through my mind very quickly?
In Psychology Today, Nancy Colier states:
What makes a thought feel real is the attention we bring to it. We make a thought into a solid object by focusing on it and relating to it as if it is an event happening in the world somewhere.
So, when I'm focusing on something in my mind, the more focus and time that I put into that thought builds it up on the scale of importance and makes it real to me and ONLY me.
Let's put this concept of attention to thoughts into context.
When we decide to focus on a thought and give it more attention than other thoughts, communication is a healthy way to express yourself. Whether it's a frustration or something that we cannot stop smiling about, communication helps those thoughts become a reality to other people, and we feel validated because our own reality soon becomes their reality as well. If we don't communicate our thoughts, we are essentially living in our own realities where we think that no one understands us and it becomes so lonely.... So why do we do that? I know that I'm a people pleaser and that's why I hold a lot of frustrating thoughts that I give attention to inside. I also know that when I have communicated them in a helpful manner, life has gotten better. Communication helps my mind calm down and becomes more open to creative thought flow. I am more at ease knowing that people know my honest thoughts. So rather than holding attention seeking thoughts inside my mind and dwelling on them only to bring pain and frustration, I can choose to let go of my thoughts and bring people I care about into my reality. The complication of emotional, attention seeking thoughts should be shared in order to feel more validated, create more honest relationships, and to know who we and the people we care about really are.