What does it mean to be truly happy?
As I was talking to one of my friends today, she asked me if I was happy. I paused, then said, "yes, why do you ask?" She simply noted that I sounded happier than I had in the past. I kind of shrugged it off, but was glad to hear that she noticed I was happier. Later, I ended up asking myself the burning question, "what does it mean to be truly happy? And why do I feel happier?"
A couple of days ago, Dawson and I found out that we are moving to a different part of Montana (that is much prettier) because Dawson got a job there. Let me just show you a little sneak peak of the scenery where we are moving to:
Soooooo pretty right? I know. You may think I am crazy when I tell you this next part of the story because this picture looks like a dream. Like it's almost too good to be true.
When I received a call from Dawson last weekend at 3:00pm on Friday, he called to say, "hey I got the job in Eureka!" Right then and there I knew that our lives would be different. I was nervous and scared because Dawson has a lot of family and friends out there... and I don't. Do you know how scary that is?!? Moving somewhere where you have no connections and the person that your with literally knows every person in the whole town?... I set down the phone and just kind of sat there not knowing how to feel or what to think. When Dawson came home from work, he came in the room and was happier than I've ever seen him. I congratulated him and tried to act happy because I truly was happy for him. It has been his dream to move back home his whole adult life. After this little interaction between us was when the phone calls came. One after another, family and friends called to congratulate Dawson on getting the job. As I was left in the room, I laid down on the bed and began to cry. I hated that I was reacting this way because I was very happy for Dawson. It was also weird that I reacted this way, because it was almost known by everyone that he was one of the most qualified applicants for the job - meaning that he was probably going to get it. It was like knowing something was going to happen, but not really planning on it happening. After Dawson got off the phone with his relatives and friends, he came in the room and asked me what was wrong. I told him that I was fine and that we should head to our movie. He asked me again because it was obvious that I was not okay. He looked at me and asked, "have you been crying?" There was no escaping now. He knew I was upset. I finally admitted to him that this was going to be a lot more difficult for me to move because I didn't know anyone. I also explained that I didn't want our relationship to be non-existent because we were moving to a place where we would be with people he knew all the time. Dawson seemed upset that I came to those conclusions because we hadn't even moved there yet. We talked through it a little bit and I apologized for acting sad, but I felt like I couldn't help my emotions in this situation. I was nervous and scared and needed some comforting. The next day I realized that everything was going to be okay and I began to feel better about things. My happiness should not be contingent upon the place that we live in. In reality it's more dependent on the people involved in my life.
So, today I revisited the question of what it means to be truly happy and why I am feeling happier lately. It just seemed ironic that my friend commented on my happiness this morning, when this emotional situation occurred over this past weekend. I came to the conclusion that true happiness encompasses the entirety of your emotional well being and how content you are with the situation that you are living in overall. An emotional feeling can turn to sadness in an instant, but it does not change the overall feeling of your surroundings. I am with a person who truly cares about me and I care about him. How amazing is that?! Loving people is one of the best remedies for living a great life. True happiness is setting aside fears, living in the moment, cherishing relationships and accepting changes when they turn your way. It's being human and having enough freedom to discover how to love people and overcome things in ways you never thought possible. I have so many opportunities for happiness in my grasp, so I'm taking them and adding them to my overall happiness because I can... And I will.