I realize that I look thinner and cuter in the first pic...but consider that I have a baby in my tummy on the second pic. Yep, the first one was me before I had any children, and the second one was me pregnant with child number 2. Recently, being pregnant with child number 3, and feeling quite large has made me want to give a shout out to those who are trying!! Throughout my life I've had many "Before and After" pics...where the after picture is the thin one. For example...here was the time I had my first baby and then lost all of the baby weight.
I figured I'd switch it up and maybe discuss the things I deal with mentally and emotionally while looking back on the body I had before I gave birth. First of all, even then, I was not satisfied with my weight and wanted to be even 20 lbs thinner...so realizing that we will always want what we don't have is the first step toward loving our body NOW. Second of all, although I feel very large at the moment, I also feel like a healthy, happy person. Here is what I am doing now. I am a runner. I don't really look like a runner, so it might catch people by surprise when I tell them I ran almost every day until half way through my pregnancy. Now, I am doing the elliptical almost every day. I would totally still run if my back wasn't all wacked out. Eating has always been the bane of my existence. I eat healthy...most of the time. I understand what it takes to lose weight...I've done it. I know that I should be eating clean...I've done it :) But BABY STEPS is the way I track my progress. Not PERFECTION. I said no to a cookie yesterday (granted I ate half of my little girls cookie later) but I SAID NO! Woot woot. Last night for dinner, I chose to not get seconds...even though I could have fit them in my tummy. Woot woot...victory! I'm a healthy human...and my children are the center of my universe. It is important that we always take care of ourselves, but sometimes worrying and fretting what we look like and what other people will think is the very thing keeping us from true happiness. The truth is, lucky me. Lucky me to have a life being created inside of me. To be able to feel the little kicks of a kid I've never met rolling around in my belly as I'm writing this post. Lucky me to have stretch marks!....I never thought I'd say that....and I'm not sure if I truly believe it yet. My body has created life...and is creating life. My worth is the same no matter what size I am. Yes it's true, baby steps. Count those little victories as a step in the right direction. I am on a quest. I am on a quest to love my body and to embrace it every step of the way no matter what direction I'm moving. I have 2 little people in my life that refine me and teach me the true meaning of life each day. They teach me patience, love, understanding, forgiveness, and they also teach me not to judge. Little ones never judge. It's no wonder Christ told us to be like a little child :) I have all of my senses, I have all of my limbs, I have a body that can move and do things...where some people can't say that. Some people can't even go to amusement parks, or fit in cars, or walk through doorways. You know, I'm pretty lucky.